In 76 days I want to lose 20 pounds. That’s when I’m leaving for Germany and I want to fit comfortably in an airplane seat. I know it can be done. I just have to balance my work, school, and exercise. That’s been my problem. I have a hard time with following my schedules. But maybe since I’m now working I’ll be forced to stick to it. Here goes nothing!

and so has my “diet.” And I just realized tonight how unfortunate this is.

I had my birthday dinner complete with delicious German food and my family. It was great, I loved it! HOWEVER, I swear every time my family gathers or I go back to my roomies, someone is ALWAYS complaining about their weight or saying how hungry they are or blah, blah, blah. My goodness, I want to strangle them! It’s extremely annoying and drives me up a wall (whether or not I’m trying to lose weight).

Anyway, I am always reminded about how I’m NOT losing weight and it bums me out. I feel really crappy.

Here I am, a bump on a log, while everyone is doing stuff that I can’t because I’m too conscious about jiggle. I drive MYSELF up a wall! I’m basically really mad at myself.

I really don’t know what I’m trying to say here because I don’t want to say I’m starting over… really, I never began. I just feel like a total failure. I have absolutely no will power. ugh

Though I’ve slid back, I will carry on!

They’re smaller! I haven’t seen these people in like 3 weeks and they’ve changed and I’ve stayed the same! For her, I say congratulations! She is someone who doesn’t mind losing weight or maintaining and she doesn’t gloat. So great for her! And yeah, I’m totally jealous! But man, I’m losing in my psycho game! lol 

I’ve been up since 8:30 and I’ve had to do so much for my classes and basically nothing else. Now I’m going to do some Wii Fit and Just Dance 3 until 4p, get ready for class at 6p, then sit in a chair for like 3 hours to learn, then sit and read for like another 3 hours. Ugh night classes!

intheonehundreds:

TRUTH

(Source: 150lbsto120lbs, via taking-me-back)

The goal is still to feel great about my body, of course. However, now that I’m back at my apartment, it’s more focused on beating my roommates. It’s become a competition in my mind. If I win, then I’ll feel GREAT!

If I lose, it’ll suck.

Though people say do it only for yourself, this is more saying “I’m better than you at this one specific thing that is extremely important to both of us.” And isn’t that what we’re all here for?!?! Being the best we can be?!?! But in all seriousness, whatever works for me is what I’m going to do even if it sounds mean.

Besides, I’m not going to rub it in her face like she does with me. I usually deny anything diet or exercise related. I like to let her think she’s the only one doing this and succeeding at something because she loves to put people down. It makes her feel special, I guess, and I will let her feel that way. What can I say, I’m a giver!**

**This post includes sass! 

They just brought back the Beefy Crunch Burrito, it’s 99 cents, my stomach is grumbling, and it’s my FAVORITE!

But NO! I must watch Pan Am, it’s late, I already brushed my teeth, and I need to keep to my budget resolution (no more money on fast food!).

Annoyance and boredom are the emotions I like to munch to. I’m going to try and read my textbooks and watch some shows on TV/online. My roommates went to go buy stuff and, I guess, the gym. Well lah-dee-dah!

So, maybe I’ll do some Just Dance 3 because for the past couple of days I’ve been MIA from this. You see… Wii Fit hurt my feelings. 

It told me I gained like 3 pounds. Some mean things were said…

I couldn’t take its HURTFUL COMMENTS so I turned it off!

Now, I’ve come to terms with what it had to say and MAYBE just maybe it may have been telling the truth. So, we’ll probably hook up tonight or tomorrow morning. Who knows?